by Amy Wang
The American poet and writer Edgar Allen Poe once said that a good poem ought to be read in “a single sitting.” Considering the impatient nature of most moderns, light verse, usually quite short, surely possesses potential for being the sublime genre of the age. A very popular form of light verse is the limerick. Composed mostly for the sake of the rhyme, its content is usually nonsensical. 1. There Was a Young Lady Called Bright There was a young lady called Bright Who would travel faster than light. She started one day In the relative way And returned the previous night. —Anonymous Because light verse has quite a close connection with what is happening around us, it often contains contemporary issues, like this one on oil spills, a parody of “sing a song of sixpence”: 2. Sing a Song of Spillage Sing a song of spillage-- A tanker’s fouled the shore; Four-and-twenty black birds-- They were white before. —Frank Jacobs As we have seen, light verse talks about serious subjects as well as silly ones, but always in a light-hearted tone. In fact, light verse does not necessarily make us laugh. More often it invokes smiles, sometimes an understanding one, sometimes a wry one. These lines on life, for example: 3. Life “Life’s not worth living, and that’s the truth,” Carelessly caroled the golden youth. In manhood still he maintained that view And held it more strongly the older he grew. When kicked by a jackass at eighty-three, “Go fetch me a surgeon at once!” cried he. —Ambrose Bierce Light verse not only makes general statements about life. It covers periods extending from childhood to the grave. No. 4 describes how a child reacts when seeing a piece of art: 4. Rhyme for a Child Viewing a Naked Venus in a Painting He gazed and gazed and gazed and gazed, Amazed, amazed, amazed, amazed. —Robert Browning Children grow up, and are engaged in the everlasting battle between men and women. No. 5 is an attack on silly women: 5. Miscalculation In Lent, as a penance, A woman in Gissing Denied herself dancing, Carousing, and kissing. “Besides,” she confessed, “I can do with a rest.” One assumes God is pleased, But her boyfriend is missing. —Bruce E. Newling But this one hits at the shallowness of men: 6. News Item Men seldom make passes At girls who wear glasses. —Dorthy Parker Dorthy Parker, an American journalist in the early twentieth century, made these two short lines so famous that several people followed up on them. 7. Dorthy Parker Update Men often lose their senses Over girls who wear contact lenses. —Dorothy Dreher 8. Furthur Update on an Unending Bulletin I heard a woman mutter: Glasses or no glasses, It neither hinders nor hurts, For men will make passes At anything in skirts. —Anonymous 9. Eyeglasses or No… Men often get amorous With girls who are mammarous —Bob McKenty After strutting and fretting their hours, the poor players on the stage of life are at last heard no more. Light verse now tells of life’s sound and fury, but it doesn’t signify nothing. Here’s someone who came to rest after a busy life in politics: 10. On a Deceased Office Seeker: An Epitaph At last elected this low place to fill, No longer running now, but lying still. —Laurence Perrine And finally, one of my favorites: 11. My Own Epitaph Life is a jest, and all things show it; I thought so once, but now I know it. —John Gay Well Now we all know it.
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by Cindi Chen
Love to travel, but can’t tolerate the expensive airplane tickets and the complicated boarding procedures when you are in transit? Never fear! Now you can fly around the world without putting up with these annoyances by taking advantage of alliances between airlines. With the ever-increasing competition between airlines, the alliances between them are so complex that they often confuse people: from joint ventures to code sharing agreements and franchises. Saving money and time is the main reason for airlines to combine their routes and flight networks. Associations between airlines are mutually beneficial because they can increase the available destinations. As for passengers, alliances between airlines is also beneficial because there are more destinations and flights to choose from. Travelers can plan their journey in a more flexible and convenient way and get better service. Basically, the benefits offered by alliances depend on mutual agreement and can be classified into the following: 1. More traveling options: customers benefit from an extensive network of destinations. Moreover, countless flights make the flexibility of travel plans possible. 2. Save money and time: by making reservations just once and using just one plane ticket for the whole journey, passengers can save a lot of money and time. Besides, the airlines in the same alliance can negotiate boarding times and shorten the wait at transit points. 3. Boarding a plane becomes more convenient: ater boarding the plane for the first leg of a journey, passengers can collect boarding passes for all their flights, even if they are operated by other airlines in the same alliance. 4. Frequent Flyer Programs: passengers can add up their mileage and take advantage of special Frequent Flyer promotions. 5. Sharing VIP rooms in airports: VIP members of one airline can use the VIP rooms of other airlines in the same alliance. This can promote service quality. Check with your travel agent and bon voyage! by Karen Tung
You must be familiar with this. The telephone rings loudly when you are busy working. When you finally decide to answer it stops ringing. Then you expect them to call again immediately. Nothing. As soon as you get back to work the phone rings again. Worse, you grab the phone and it turns out to be a salesman or someone who has dialed the wrong number. Anyway, you just don’t understand why such stupid things keep happening to you. Fortunately, you can stop complaining and just attribute them to Murphy’s Law, the unshakable, ever-lasting, and most logical rule of all. It’s a philosophy to make certain trivial and nonsensical failures reasonable. Next time you encounter things that can’t be explained with reason and logic, try to apply Murphy’s Law. At least it can make you feel better. Who is Murphy, the greatest genius on earth? What has led him to find out the truth beyond the truth? Born in 1917, Edward A. Murphy, Jr. was one of the engineers on rocket-sled experiments to test human acceleration tolerances conducted by the United States Air Force in 1949. One test is involved a set of 16 accelerometers which had to be installed to different parts of the subject’s body. There were two ways to set up each sensor, right or wrong. Of course, the one who managed this put all 16 into the wrong position. Murphy then realized the universal principle: “If anything can go wrong, it will.” Within just a few months “Murphy’s Law” had spread to various technical fields relating to aerospace engineering. It has now become an everyday part of the English language. More significantly, “Murphy’s Law” was added to Webster’s Dictionary in 1958. Since then there have been many applications of Murphy’s Law. I’d like to share with you some interesting examples. Jones’ Law of Publishing: Some errors will always go unnoticed until the book is in print. Bloch’s Corollary: The first page the author turns to upon receiving an advanced copy will be the page containing the worst error. (If you are a loyal reader of The Foreign Exchange you’ll know what I mean.) Hlade’s Law: If you have a difficult task give it to a lazy man—he will find an easier way to do it. (This must be why technology has been able to develop so rapidly.) Finagle’s Law: Teamwork is essential. It allows you to blame someone else. Here are some additional Laws for students. (The first two) Laws of Applied Terror: 1. When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important one will be illegible. 2. The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want. Fortunately (or unfortunately?) I understand this last Law very well. But at least I feel better that there are more people sharing the same experience. Murphy’s Law, a collection of others’ wisdom and past experiences, helps you look at your own frustrating days optimistically. By Y. C. Amy Wang
“What!” exclaimed my friend in disbelief. “You’re not out of your mind, are you?” She put her hand on my forehead. “No, it doesn’t make sense; you don’t have a fever.” This was the reaction I got when I answered her question, “What second foreign language are you taking?” with two words: “Classical Greek.” I began out of curiosity, really. Another friend had been taking the course the previous year, and it sounded intriguing. I gazed in awe as she spelled out familiar names in mysterious lettering of which I only had a faint impression from high-school math classes. “I’d like to know more,” I thought. Besides, there aren’t many universities in Taiwan which offer this course. Why not, when it is offered in my university? So despite the many complaints about homework loads I’ve heard, I went ahead and registered for the course last semester. To tell the truth, the class is rather demanding, but that doesn’t kill the fun. The first qualm I had about taking this entirely unfamiliar language was the alphabet. As we started reading the text, however, the class learned the new letters quickly. It wasn’t as difficult as I had imagined. There are 24 letters in the Greekalphabet, and most of the pronunciations are close to English: Here are a few names we have came across in Introduction of Western Literature: Do you recognize them? They are: Zeus, Hera, Artemis, Poseidon, Athene, Aphrodite, Apollo, and Dionysus. The ‘ and ’ are aspiration marks. When there is a mark, then the word should be pronounced with a [h] sound, like ??H?? [hera]; without the mark it would be pronounced [era] instead. Other marks on the letters indicate tones. Seems complicated, right? Actually, because Classical Greek is already a dead language, its pronunciation is not the most important part one needs to learn. Moreover, these pronunciation marks are modern conventions, for real Classical Greek was all written in the upper case, without punctuation and spacing! Hujan Malam
Sebuah tasik malam Yang memanjang dari gelap Hingga pesisir kesedaran Kuseberangi dengan kapal hujan. Rintik pada daun menderukan gerak, Membawaku ke arah sayap, Tiada pantai, Yang terkelip di hujungnya Hanyalah api malap kenalan. Bintik-bintik dari diri berdenyut wujud. Gelap memperjauhkan perjalanan. Yang kulihat hanya bahan kelam Yang bocor oleh titik hujan Dan menembus diri tipis. Jalur menderu Rentaknya kuikut dengan otot. Tak mungkin kupalu gendang Dan sama menari. Jadi, kuturut dengan kecewa Kembara ke kesayupan Sambil membaca bersit hujan di muka. Night Rain A lake of night That extends from darkness To the periphery of consciousness I am crossing you in a ship of rain. The patter on leaves gives voice to the movement, Bringing me distant directions, No shores Twinkle at the end of sight Only the dim fire of recognition. Speckles from the self pulsate into existence. Darkness distances the journey I only see the stuff of darkness That leaks with the raindrops And pierces the papery self. A dugout whispers to the water I follow its rhythms with my muscles. No, i may never beat the drum And also dance to it. So i follow it with resignation Wander into the distance While reading the pelting of the rain On my face. –from Beyond the Archipelago by Muhammad Haji Salleh, Ohio University Center for International Studies, 1995. By Jamine Chou
Thomas Youk was sitting quietly in an empty room, experiencing the last few minutes of his life. Although only 52 years old, which is still considered the prime of a man’s life, his complexion appeared too ashen for his age. His eyes unveiled his tiredness and pain. His body couldn’t bear his suffering any more, and he would have taken a gun and shot himself if only his muscles had still been under his control. Then a doctor entered the room, followed by Thomas’ loved ones. They didn’t talk much before the doctor asked the family to wait outside. The room recovered its tranquility, and Thomas knew the time had come. As the doctor picked up a needle and gave him an injection, his seemly endless suffering was at last drawn to an end. With he released his last breath, there was a smile on his face which nobody had seen for a very long time. This story is not a piece of fiction. It actually happened last September in Oakland County, Michigan. A doctor named Kevorkian assisted one of his patients, Thomas Youk, to commit suicide by giving him a lethal injection. Thomas was then suffering from Lou Gehrig’s disease. Not long after Thomas’ death, Dr. Kevorkian sent a videotape which contained the complete process of the operation to 60 Minutes in order to reveal to the world the truth about euthanasia. Of course, right after this rash act, the doctor was charged with first-degree murder by the local prosecutor, and in April, he was convicted of second-degree murder. He was sentenced to 10-25 years behind bars. Dr. Kevorkian is already 70 years old, which means he is going to spend the rest of his life in prison. Dedicating his life for right-to-die advocacy, he maintained that people have the right to choose their death with dignity. Therefore, although he knew the consequences in advance, he still decided to send the tape to the TV network, simply to call attention to euthanasia. In fact, euthanasia has existed for centuries. Doctors all over the world secretly proceed with the operation and, at the same time, try to promote the legalization of euthanasia. The outcome is not surprising; more and more people have been joining organizations set up for its advocacy. Rationally speaking, for many patients who have been suffering from torturing and incurable illnesses, to require them to hang in there and to wait for miracles is somehow crueler than to let them rest in peace. Of course, whether to practice euthanasia or not is still on the borderline between reason and emotion. Besides emotional indecision, many opponents also claim that nobody can decide another person’s life, not even the person himself, because life is controlled not by any particular being but by members of his or her family and friends, not to mention the highest religious divinity. Others object to euthanasia based on political, scientific, and humanitarian perspectives. But when the patient is lying helplessly in bed most of the time, maybe we should pay more respect to the patient’s decision. Whether to continue their torturous lives for themselves as well as for their families or to stop the whole thing is supposed to be up to the patients. Putting those immense theories aside, how to offer patients what they need the most and how to give doctors the right to provide the best treatment for their patients should be our priority. Up till now, of all the states in the U.S., only Oregon has an officially approved law to legalize euthanasia and to regulate the rules concerning thereof, called the Death with Dignity Act. The act specifically indicates when and under what circumstances a doctor can proceed with an euthanasia operation. This legislation not only protects the patient’s interests but also ensure the doctor’s immunity while executing the operation. Other countries, such as Australia, already have national laws for euthanasia’s legalization and regulation. Elsewhere, such as in the Netherlands, there are very liberal policies on doctors’ assisting suicide and euthanasia, though none of them is officially legal. Although there are many negative criticisms in magazines and newspapers about Dr. Kevorkian and euthanasia, the truth deserves more attention. The truth is that despite the unknown manipulator of our beings, we still exert primary control over our own lives. Under certain special situations, whether to go on in misery or to end it all depends on our own decision. After all, it is we who are living our lives, not others. Thomas made the decision under his own free will and decided to let the doctor give him the fatal stroke. You may suspect that Dr. Kevorkian’s motives were not purely for his patient’s sake but also for his other ambitions; still, Youk’s choice was no lie. As the doctor goes to jail for murder, Youk is satisfied with the end of his life. His body might be murdered, but his soul was surely set free because of it. By Laura Jane Wey
To begin with, there’s the phenomenon of the Crazy Grades within the department. You might, after missing half the lectures and skipping the midterm for a certain course, get 75 for a final grade. Yet again you might be a straight-A student, show up for every class, and faithfully fulfill every requirement made by the teacher, but end up with a 78. What I’m saying is, there’s absolutely no guarantee you’ll get what you deserve at the end of the semester simply by being a hard-working (or not so hard-working), God-fearing, law-abiding student–indeed, waiting for your grades may resemble a lottery in some extreme cases; there isn’t much else one can do except cross one’s fingers, and pray for good luck. Freewill? Not much of that; everything seems to be predestined–or decided in arbitrary ways by arbitrary gods! And then there’s the problem of all the classes people are taking in other departments, either out of the necessity to fulfill requirements for double majors / minors, or purely out of personal interest. Needless to say, widening the scope of one’s knowledge is something to be encouraged; unfortunately there is on the other hand the all too real technicality of each department having its own standard for grading. Numbers? Well, in some courses offered by the College of Management 100 is the not-too-difficult-to-reach limit, whereas in many Science or Engineering courses an 85 would be a remarkably good grade. All of this has led me, along with countless others, to wonder: should the President’s List even exist? As every first-grader knows, quantities can be compared with each other only if the unit of measurement is the same: one could say, for instance, that the speed of light is greater than the speed of sound, but certainly not that the volume of the fish-tank is larger than the length of the driveway. How is it then that we’re stacking up all the little numbers on students’ transcripts and pretending they are comparable, when no two students are taking exactly the same classes? To make an already muddled situation even more complicated, students actually receive a grade for Physical Education which gets figured into their GPA. Racking my brains as I have I am still at a total loss as to what on earth has swimming, pitching a softball, or dancing to do with one’s academic performance–although that could be because my mental powers are none too great. And while we’re at it it would be unforgivable if I should fail to mention the extraordinary number on the transcript known as the ‘behaviour grade’: this grade is theoretically given by a student’s academic advisor, but in reality everybody gets an 82 unless there’s some special circumstance. The fact that everybody gets the same grade is an acknowledgment that the grade is meaningless, and one can’t help but wonder why it is there at all. There is really very little we as students can do to remedy the situation, except perhaps to stay away from certain teachers and certain departments, to avoid P.E. after one has fulfilled the required number of credits (unless one is a remarkably good athlete), and above all to get down on our knees and say our prayers every night. So perhaps it is time someone who has real power do something. Abolishing the President’s List would be a good start, having P.E. pass-fail or without credit would make better sense, and the behaviour grade should most definitely be gone. As for the Crazy Grades–well, that one is certainly beyond me, though that could be due to my own imbecility. Someone smarter, HELP!! by Katherine Lee
One night after dinner, I casually strolled along Hsin Shing South Rd., not expecting any surprising pleasure to befall me. Suddenly, a placard of a small bookstore, “Taiwan Store” caught my eyes. Driven by an avid curiosity as to the meaning of the mysterious character in the name, I had an urge step in. With only a few dedicated readers on chairs, a non-bustling sales counter, light-green painted walls, and several rare maps of aboriginal Taiwan, the bookstore was enveloped in a calm, primitive, and simple atmosphere. I had no clue as to what the character “…” meant, until Mrs. Wu, co-establisher of the store, explained to me that it was a Taiwanese character indicating the possessive. Taking a closer look, I realized that this was a theme bookstore, filled with various kinds of books, displays and music collections related to Taiwan. Established six years ago, Taiwan Store aims to preserve the culture and the beauty of Taiwan, including that of its minorities. “We hope that more people can understand the many ways of the island, lest Taiwan’s culture be forgotten in the dominant stream of Chinese culture,” Mrs. Wu said. The decision of the location, near National Taiwan University, resulted not only from consideration of commerce, but also in the hope of making students aware of being Taiwanese. “It has nothing to do with politics. Since Taiwan is the island on which we live, we should all be familiar with its history,” she explained. Although Taiwan’s Store is relatively small, it provides plentiful information about Taiwan not readily available in other bookstores. The first book I picked up was a photography book on the ancient trees of Taiwan, with both pictures and histories. Other books such as those about architecture, nature, and social customs are also about Taiwan. Books recording Taiwan’s history are also on hand, even some in comic book-form for children! Another section of the store is occupied by masterpieces of Taiwanese literature, arranged according to different publishers. In still another corner there is a small display of aboriginal crafts for sale, including pottery and T-shirts with authentic totems on them. It is nice that one can sit in a chair reading leisurely and, at the same time, enjoy such a pure Taiwanese atmosphere! Even for a Taiwanese like me, all that I have learned about our island is from official textbooks in geography and history class. This is the first time that I found so many diverse topics about the place where I’ve grown up. If you are interested in this fascinating bookstore, visit them today: Address: Hsin Shing South Rd., Sec 3, Lane 76, No.6 Telephone: (02) 23625799 or 23628835 Website: http://www.taiouan.com.tw |
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The Taida Student Journal has been active since 1995 with an ever-changing roster of student journalists at NTU. Click the above link to read about the authors Archives
May 2024
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