by Justine Benais In a world where technology substitutes genuine connections and the quest for love has become a simple game of sliding your finger on a screen, dating apps such as Tinder or Hinge have transformed the way individuals establish romantic connections. Behind this simplicity however, hides many complex mechanisms built to keep the users engaged and active. After all, what business would succeed in having their users no longer need them. Failure is their business model, and the apps that promise to cure loneliness cause you to be lonelier than ever. At the heart of these applications are sophisticated algorithms, kept secret by their developers. These algorithms determine which profile will appear to how many and to which other users, creating a personalised experience. This oftentimes leaves the user in the dark of this decision process for suggested matches and unsure on the selection criterion. The selective visibility of profiles, which favours the active users and those who subscribe financially in the premium functions, creates a competitive environment and incites continued use in the hopes of more attention. Dating apps have become a game of trying to manoeuvre algorithms in an attempt to stand out. How the Algorithm Deteriorates Self-Esteem So how do these apps’ algorithms work? Many apps use an internal classing system in which they can evaluate the “desirability” of a profile. In the simplest of terms, those who receive many right swipes, will obtain a higher rank and will be exposed to desirable profiles. A user’s rank is decided very early. In the first week a user will be shown only the highest ranked profiles. In that week, the user’s profile will be shown to a wide array of people and based on the first few days of people’s swiping, that user will be ranked. The system is very intricate and will offer more weight to the right swipes from highly ranked profiles than the lower ranked profiles. Once ranked, it is almost impossible to escape where the user has been placed. Some apps take this one step further. Hinge for example has built its algorithm around showing you only the profiles in the rank below you. In their “standouts” section (where a user must pay to swipe), the profiles of ranks above you will be shown. The competitive nature of these apps is further exemplified by the gamified aspects such as superlikes, roses, or limited swipes. This can generate an addictive quality to the feeling of instant gratification all the while twisting the perception of love to a simple question of popularity. This approach can lead to a fixation on physical appearance, as decisions are based on a very quick evaluation of appearance. Even for those with seemingly high rankings, the volume of rejection is tenfold to that of real life. Say you send out five messages a day and they go unanswered, that may feel like five rejections a day. There may be various reasons why the messages were unanswered that would not have been overlooked in the real world thanks to facial cues, body language or context of the meeting. The consequences on self-esteem are palpable. Constantly exposed to quick superficial evaluations, users may develop conditional self-esteem or feelings of inadequacy. Seeking virtual validation is an unending pursuit and creates pressure to match unrealistic expectations and standards. The Illusion of Financial Success Despite the many differences between dating apps in their algorithms and user interface, one thing remains present across the board and that is monetization strategies. All apps use varying strategies to encourage users to pay such as the premium subscription functions, visibility or profile boosts, access to more information on other users, or the possibility to restrict your stack of profiles to certain characteristics (i.e., must be over 6’ tall). Within the premium level functions, one will find unlimited swipes, access to view those who have already swiped right on you, an ability to place yourself and view profiles from anywhere in the world… These paid functions are presented as a means to quicker success with higher quality matches. This strategy exploits the most vulnerable users and creates a perception that number and quality of matches is proportional to financial investment. They create an economic dependence, as users continue to spend money in the hopes of improving their results. The Consequences of Virtual Encounters Beyond the psychological and financial proponents, the effect of dating apps expands to the social sphere. While digital connections become the norm, people are finding it increasingly difficult to make connections and socialize in the real world. This concept of a neutral place that is not work or home, in which people could go to make new connections, partake in some social activity or simply get away from the stress of work and family responsibility, is known as the “third place”. The “third place” represents neutral and informal places, such as, cafes, libraries, parks, sports leagues (…) and they are becoming increasingly deserted. Human connections are being replaced by virtual ones. Even the frequented locations are filled with people who have their noses in their screens and are unwilling to approach others as it is no longer the norm.
The existence of a “third place” is important to a person’s well being as it offers an opportunity for people to encounter spontaneous connections, and engage in non structured social interactions. These spaces contribute to the creation of community ties, allow for authentic connection and serve as a playground for the development of human relations. The disappearance of these spaces changes the way humans interact with one another. Beyond the simple fact that face-to-face interactions are becoming less frequent, there is also a safety behind the screen; causing people to feel less pressure to behave in accordance with societal expectations. As this occurs, people are more frequently dealing with disrespectful behaviours which can have serious effects on someone’s mental health. The Takeaway Dating apps have revolutionised the way we find love. They simultaneously pose significant concerns regarding their impact on a person’s well being and their ability to form genuine human connection. Users must maintain a conscientious critique and adopt a balanced approach to their use. Dating apps should not be the sole source of validation, after all, a few curated pictures and a caption do not represent a person holistically. While the overabundance of choice complicates the decisions made, it is important to recognise that genuine human connection cannot be replaced by apps. a
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May 2024
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