by Angel Chen 陳恩潔How often do you quarrel with your family? How do you interact with them? Even though it is the basic unit of society, it turns out that we seldom think seriously about the idea of “family” itself. Many sci-fi stories picture a world without families, with well-structured, systematic societies where no one even knows his or her parents. However, this has apparently never been the case in the human history. The family has never failed to be important in the development of human society. Though having evolved and transformed, the core values of the family, including physical and psychological aspects, still hold firm. But why is family so important for human beings? What is a family really like in our society?
According to the Longman Dictionary, “family” is defined as a group of people who are related to each other, especially a mother, a father, and their children. Yet this statement is quite disputable since families vary with time and culture. Can a single sentence really define what a family is? In English, “family” originated from the Latin word famulus, meaning “servant.” It referred to an extended family, including servants, when the word was first brought into English. Servants were considered part of a family then. As society developed, the scale of the household shrank in England, and in the early 19th century the word began to have its modern meaning as a blood-related household. In other cultures “family” concerns creation myths. The Greek legend of the destruction of the four Ages of Man and the Biblical story of Adam and Eve are two examples. In ancient Greece, men married in their early twenties and women in their teens, and they usually lived with the husband’s parents. Women had little freedom and stayed at home most of the time. From early records in the Bible, we can see that a patriarchal world view was established in the Middle East well before Greek civilization, and that the practice of polygamy was common. However, to our surprise, nuclear families existed too. It was typical for ancient Romans to live in small families, along with their slaves. Nuclear families existed in the European Middle Ages as well, when men and women tended to marry in their early twenties and set up separate households of their own. Because nuclear families clearly pre-existed modernization, many sociologists have now come to believe that they were the cause, not the product, of industrialization. But what about non-Western societies? In traditional Indian culture, loyalty and interdependence is greatly emphasized for families. Being a collectivist culture, family interest is generally considered greater than individual interest. Since each family is considered a single entity, personal performance is strongly related to people’s impression on the family as a whole. This not only intertwines personal issues and family issues together, but also explains the reason why the family has such great influence on important personal decisions such as marriage and career path. Unlike nuclear families in Western societies, the Indian family encompasses a broader view. All related figures can be considered as family members, leading to huge households and complicated family structures. These ideas resemble Chinese families, too, which also value groups over individuals. However, Chinese families have a special core value known as filial piety. The Chinese family has an even stricter structure and a more explicit hierarchy. Respect for one’s parents, elders, and ancestors bestows the elderly with great power over the whole family, and obedience is often perceived as an obligation for the younger generations. Stemming from Confucianism, the concept of filial piety also gave Chinese people a heavier responsibility with respect to family. Grown children are expected to stay at home and take care of the family instead of separately building their own. Independence is valued less. While Indians and Chinese tend to form huge families, there are in fact even larger ones: indigenous families. For most aboriginal people, close relationships are developed within the whole tribe and property is usually shared among households. A Sediq boy once said: “In our village, all adults are my parents. They have the same right as my parents to watch over me, to tell me what to do, and to teach me what is right.” Strict structures do not work in this group. All cousins are considered brothers and sisters and no identification are needed. Since family units are usually large and extended in aboriginal society, often even to the scale of a whole community, a stronger sense of belonging and emotional support can be provided. For many aboriginals who leave home to work or study in the city, the close relationship they have to their tribe tops the list of what they miss most. Recent developments in modern society, however, have greatly impacted traditional families worldwide. As traditional thoughts are being challenged and generation gaps are broadened, people fight over what a family should be like and divergence in values only deepens the disagreement. Yet with all these conflicts and disparity, all families share a common function—love and support, something no one can live without. Upon realizing this, we realize the importance of family and its role in each person’s life. No matter what form it takes, we are all certain that families remain cornerstones of our lives. a
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May 2024
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