By Henry Lin Guys. Have you ever envied those who just seem to know what to say around girls; charm woman in every possible way; and win the hearts of ladies whenever and wherever they want? How should guys prepare themselves in this dog-eat-dog game of love? Well, today’s your lucky day! Because the following paragraphs will give you the most useful tips in meeting, attracting, and developing relationships with girls. The decisive factor: First impressions
Let me set a scene for you: A girl sees you across the room, you see her across the room. You decide that it must be love at first sight so you swagger over to her. She checks out your rumpled hair, oily glasses, shabby T-shirt, and thinks: “Boring.” You may have the greatest personality in the world, but there isn’t a chance that she’ll take a second glance at you. Is this fair? Not really. In fact, it’s pretty shallow. But let’s face it. When we see a girl, the first thing we notice is her looks, right? Not the deeper, fundamental things we consider important in a person’s demeanor. So the first thing you have to learn is dressing up and developing your style. Does having style make you a man? No. But it does increase the chances of women noticing you. Some people think having style is about wearing what everybody else is wearing. Wrong. Each ladies’ man is unique. The confidence you have in yourself and your clothes is what sells your style. Be original, be creative. Test of courage: The first move Now we’re getting to the fun part. After we’ve taken the first step and have our appearance settled, it’s time to lock and load and engage the target. Next on our list: starting the conversation. As you approach a girl, try to look causal but confident. Smile and make eye contact and just let the eyes do the talking for a while. Then comes a huge problem: how to break the ice. Scenario two: Guy walks up to girl. Their eyes meet. He smiles and opens his mouth to talk. All of a sudden, his mind goes blank. He’s at a loss for words. His palms go sweaty and he can feel the heat rising in his face. In less than five seconds he seems to have lost the ability to speak. An awkward silence falls upon them until the guy turns and disappears from view. Ok. He was nervous. Who wouldn’t be? But that’s not how a ladies’ man would have handled it. You could start off with a pick-up line but to be honest, girls usually don’t get turned on by “Are you tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day long” or “Does your head hurt because you must’ve fallen out of heaven.” Actually the most straightforward approach would be “hi, my name is ____” and you can follow up with something that you both have in common. Treat her as you would treat any other friend and believe me, it would be a lot easier to talk normally. But remember, a good conversation starts with a dialogue. Just think how you’d feel if someone asks how you are doing, but spends the next ten minutes droning on about their own stuff? So be an attentive listener and give them undivided attention. Look intently into their eyes and ask them sincere, open ended questions about the topic. Also, be aware of body language. Good signs would be smiling, uncrossed arms and legs, dilated pupils, and a forward leaning body. If you catch these signs, then you’re on the right track. Now comes the ordeal: asking for the first date. Three words: Just do it! Think about it, the worst that can happen is a big fat “NO” but if you don’t ask, how will you ever know? Don’t ever hold back for the fear of failure or rejection. Be a man. Be a ladies’ man. Moment of truth: Turn a girl friend into your girlfriend Scenario three: You’ve been chatting with this girl for a long time. You hold deep conversations and share secrets with each other. You like her yet you feel that you’re turning out to be her “friend” but not her “boyfriend.” What should you do? This is a tough one. Once you’re stuck in the “friend zone” it’s pretty hard to get out. But a ladies’ man wouldn’t let an obstacle like that hinder him. Here’s how a ladies’ man would say: “I really like you and the more we get to know each other the more I want to know you. Would you like to explore being more than friends?” Once again, honesty is the best policy. If she really is your friend you won’t lose the friendship simply by letting her know you are thinking about a deeper relationship. And if you really like her, it’s well worth the risk of feeling awkward. So there you have it. Guides to becoming a ladies’ man. But the essence of a ladies man isn’t about being a philanderer or playboy. It’s as simple as learning what woman really want - attention, satisfaction, and r-e-s-p-e-c-t, and giving it to them. With this thought in mind, may luck be with you on finding your true love! P.S. Ladies! Even though this story is mainly for guys, try helping us out every now and then. If you see a guy in distress, completely lost for words or things to do, please speak up and put him out of his misery. (Hey! Making a relationship work is half your job, too!) a
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May 2024
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