by An-chih Perng
“It was a dark, stormy night…” Well, how am I supposed to imagine what will happen on a dark stormy night when the sun is shining so bright outside? Besides, why do we have to write a story that starts off with this trite, tedious sentence? I can recall loads of children’s books beginning with “It was a dark, stormy night”! “Hey, wait a minute, young lady!” protested the words (and even the comma!) as they popped out of the computer screen. It must be my imagination, I thought. So I stood up, had a good stretch and yawn, and headed for the fridge in the hope of getting some inspiration, as is my habit. “Don’t you know it is impolite to just walk away like that when someone is talking to you?” There they were again, looking a bit annoyed as they lined up before my eyes. “How come you guys can…can… step out of the computer just like that, and…and…?” Shocked and amazed, my tongue could barely function. “And speak as if we were alive?” the comma kindly finished my sentence for me. “Yeah…” “Well,” acting as the spokesperson of this sentence, ‘It’ gave me a listen-hard-you-young-lady look and proudly began: “Once a word is created, it becomes alive. And all our lives, we take part in millions of stories that start with 'It was a dark, stormy night.’” It suddenly occurred to me that my composition homework could be done rather easily this time. “You mean,” I asked tentatively, trying hard to conceal my excitement, “you know lots of interesting stories that begin with 'It was a dark, stormy night’?” “Of course,” answered 'It’; “so we want you to apologize for accusing us of being 'trite’ and 'tedious.’” “I’m sorry; I take it back,” I was rather embarrassed. “But can you tell me a story beginning with you guys that is, well, little known, yet intriguing?” “Sure, anything to your order,” said 'It’ confidently. “But first we’ll get back in the computer and call our friends together. In ten seconds you’ll have the whole story on your computer screen.” Wow, that’s the shortest time ever for me to finish a composition class assignment! And the most effortless ever! Just as I was overwhelmed with happiness and thinking of celebrating this piece of good luck that seemed to have saved me from staring miserably into the computer and painfully racking my brains, I noticed that ten seconds, perhaps even ten minutes had already passed, and yet there was still only the sentence “It was a dark, stormy night” on the computer screen! “Oh no! So it was my imagination after all,” I sighed to myself. “No, no,” 'It’ reappeared and said, “I forgot to tell you that the story can only be read once, and…” “And you can only see it on a dark, stormy night,” the comma finished the sentence for 'It’, and they all disappeared back into the computer screen, stiff and lifeless as they were before. Though I was still not quite sure if this was all a fantasy, I decided that I would bet on it and print out this “magic story.” So, Mr. Petersen, sorry for the inconvenience caused, but please wait patiently for a dark, stormy night to read it, and hopefully I can get to hear all about the story they put together for you. a
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May 2024
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