by Savannah Lagmay“Party of One” I always joke to myself. I’m someone who doesn’t mind eating alone at a restaurant. So when I had a desire to travel to South Korea and Okinawa, I followed up on that craving, booking my tickets and Airbnb for Spring Break. I looked forward to my beauty tour in Seoul: staying in the 24-hour Jimjilbaengs (Korean spas), and shopping for hours without considering if a friend wanted to go elsewhere. Similarly, with my few days in Okinawa, I could meditate on the beaches and not have to entertain anyone or take into consideration whether they liked raw fish or not. I will admit that I was a little hesitant. There’s always a comfort in knowing that someone has been in your shoes before, but this time, there were no shoes in sight. Traveling alone also breaks the norm. What follows “Where are you going?” is usually, “Who are you going with?” Many of my classmates asked me before and after my trip: “You went alone?” I always wonder if their concern is (a) that it sounds lonely, (b) that it sounds dangerous, or © a mixture of both. It goes without saying that it was definitely an experience worth writing about. I came back to Taiwan approaching human interactions in a different light.
1. I should really pick up a new language In retrospect, I was the stereotypical American: pointing at picture menus and occasionally asking people for directions in English. I was “that guy,” and while I got by in major, touristy areas, especially in Seoul and some parts of Naha, this made my experience more jaded. This was true especially when I went to Tokashiki Island. Not being with the army brat crowd (although ironically, I am one), and not being at the peak of tourist season, locals (even other foreigners, sometimes) assumed I spoke and understood Japanese. I knew some Japanese words and phrases here and there, but when people would ask where I was from or other introductory questions, the conversation would end there. My conscience has never been heavier, because to my surprise, sometimes locals would come up to me. I wasn’t sure what was worse: not even being able to say “I don’t speak Japanese” in Japanese or not being able to speak the language at all. 2. Embracing people It was always obvious that I was lost: I made 360 degree turns in the middle of sidewalks and generally stood out with my darker skin and voluminous curly hair. Technology failed me, especially in Seoul, since I had no wifi and didn’t realize that Google Maps wasn’t allowed in Korea until I got there. Granted, I went to two of the safest cities in the world, but really it only takes one person to rob you. In reality, women don’t have the same travel privileges as men. There are places in my own home country where I would never consider going alone. We’re generally more likely to avoid certain areas, change our clothes to be less revealing, and often carry mace or be encouraged to learn self-defense. My voice almost cracked when they asked “Are you alone?” because I am never sure whether I should lie or be honest. When you’re a girl more eyebrows are raised when they notice you’re alone, let alone not having a companion. Sure, I was more at ease, but you can’t abandon your senses altogether.The biggest shock was that not everyone has the worst intentions. My most vivid memory was when an old man actually walked me to my Airbnb and went into local stores to ask where the location was. I roamed under the underpass of the Naha monorail searching for a camera store, and then someone offered to help me. To my even greater surprise, people would come up to me and sometimes if they knew English, would strike up a conversation with me. 3.But the English Language could also be helpful In a sense, there is also a positive aspect of English being the “international language of the world.” In many ways, it connects us to people that we normally would not have talked to. This was especially true when I visited Seoul. On the metro to Hongdae, an old man struck up a conversation with me after I had mistakenly sat in the elderly section. He told me of his medical studies in Wisconsin back in the 70s, reminding me of my grandparents’ thousands of miles away. In my Airbnb in Gangnam, I befriended a German-Korean and we eventually exchanged LINE IDs. English connected me to people that I would have never been able to talk to otherwise. I don’t speak Korean or Japanese, but I was still able to express myself. Had I known either language, I would have been able to express myself more in ways that would have otherwise been lost in translation. 4. On Race It was so surprising because like my study-abroad experience in Taiwan, going to South Korea and Japan had also challenged my own preconceived belief that I had accepted as almost fact: the darker your skin is the less attractive you are to society. Sadly, anti-blackness is almost universal so Asia would be no different. Most people wouldn’t know I’m half Filipino unless I tell them. People definitely don’t want to talk to me or have anything to do with me. When you’re in a crowd and stand out so much, sometimes you just want to conform. But when people genuinely talk to you or offer to help you–this reassuring feeling melted away even my most internalized insecurities. I’m not saying that racial discrimination doesn’t exist in these countries. It does. However, there was no question of being enough or “passing.” I was just being. In a way, I left Taiwan as a very selfish person and came back wanting to embrace those around me more. I come from a “distant” culture, where saying “Hi how’s it going?” doesn’t necessarily mean someone actually wants to talk to you. Conversations with strangers (“small talk”) are often discouraged (that person could be crazy or trying to sell me something) or forced due to the setting. Throughout my whole trip, I kept to myself but was surprised when people would come up to me and strike up a genuine conversation. From language to race, these interactions rendered a different picture of the world, then the grimmer one I had imagined. Me in Naha a
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May 2024
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