By VIVIAN TSAI Fairytale Reporter Earlier this afternoon, His Royal Highness the Prince and his new bride were formally wed in front of thousands of cheering spectators. After having been missing for months and believed to be dead, the Prince of Germany made his unforeseen return at dawn last Sunday with his fiancée by his side and twins in their arms. Haggard and disheveled, the prince was all smiles and good news as he announced his decision to marry his love, Rapunzel. On their marriage, Rapunzel has been given the title Her Royal Highness the Princess of Germany. Puzzling Princess
On her family background and history, the enigmatic Princess Rapunzel revealed that her only memories are of an isolated life in a secluded tower in the middle of the forest since the age of twelve. She claims to have no recollection of her real family, having been separated from them at birth and raised by a sorceress named Dame Gothel. It has been estimated that Princess Rapunzel’s golden locks prior to being chopped off by the sorceress had reached approximately 70 feet in length, and had been used primarily as a means for one to climb and enter the tower, which had no door or stairs. ‘She [Dame Gothel] would tell me to let down my hair whenever she wished to enter the tower,’ Princess Rapunzel explained during last night’s press conference. ‘It was the only way to get in.’ The prince further elaborated on the princess’ hair, expressing just how difficult and tedious of a process it was to climb the golden locks every night during their clandestine meetings in her tower. ‘Sometimes I felt like it would be easier to simply give up, but when I thought of my dear Rapunzel up there in that tower, I found the strength within myself to keep on climbing,’ he professed. Medical Miracle Medical professionals are still scratching their heads at the alleged miracle that cured His Royal Highness’ eyesight. The prince had attempted to commit suicide when he threw himself from the tower window after learning of Rapunzel’s banishment into the wilderness. His life was luckily spared, but instead his eyes were blinded by the thorns growing at the foot of the structure. When tentatively asked to elaborate on the suicidal experience, the prince chose to remain silent on the matter, choosing only to discuss the healing of his eyes. They had both been crying, he disclosed, and his eyesight was miraculously restored when Rapunzel’s tears fell into his eyes. There has been no scientific explanation to this bizarre phenomenon, yet doctors have assured that the prince’s eyes are in perfectly healthy condition. ‘We seriously have no idea how this happened and how it was possible,’ said Raymond Clarke, Medical Professor at Princess University’s Department of Medicine. His research assistant, Alison Evans, clarified that until there is scientific evidence to back up the incident, it will be loosely classified as a ‘miracle’ for the time being. During the months following Rapunzel’s banishment, the prince and Rapunzel both survived off of grass and roots before they managed to find each other again. The royal couple’s twins have also both been confirmed healthy, despite their mother having given birth to them alone in the wilderness without any medical assistance. Poor Parenting Dame Gothel has since been tracked down and arrested by police, and the Enchanted Court has found her guilty of imprisonment, child abuse, and abandonment. The sorceress asked for an appeal with the excuse that her actions were ‘for her [Rapunzel’s] own good’, yet was unable to provide any evidence to support her claims. She has been sentenced to life in prison. A couple who claims to be the parents of Princess Rapunzel will complete their final DNA testing tomorrow before their declarations can be concluded as true. They explained that they had been forced to give away their first child upon birth to the sorceress next-door, Gothel, after the father was caught stealing her vegetables to satisfy his pregnant wife’s cravings. ‘After so many years, we might actually be reunited with our daughter,’ the alleged father expressed to reporters during an interview on Wednesday. ‘Just the thought of that brings me to tears, and seeing her so happy and well is just the best feeling in the world.’ Celebrations for the royal couple’s wedding are still under way, and there are plans for the festivities to extend until next weekend. Attendants have chosen the princess’ performance of her self-composed song, ‘Happily Ever After’, as the highlight of the ceremony so far. On this choice, the prince only smiled wistfully. ‘It was this beautiful song and her ethereal voice that captured my attention to begin with,’ he expressed happily. ‘This was our beginning, and I think it’s only apt that she performs this song to the Kingdom as part of the wedding celebrations.’ Princess Rapunzel will become Her Royal Majesty Queen Rapunzel when her husband the Prince ascends the throne to become King. ‘And when that happens,’ the princess said with a hopeful smile, ‘maybe he’ll finally be given a proper name. I’ve been calling him “Prince” for so long; hopefully I won’t have to switch to calling him “King” when that day comes!’ a
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May 2024
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