by Tiffany Chiang
On December 29, 1996, a student of the Graduate Institute of Planning and Building in took his life by suffocating himself with a gas emission pipe. Why did he choose to, as Alexander Dumas so delicately put it, violently break this mortal coil that obstinately demands us to live? There is no answer, because the person who holds all the answers can never give them anymore. The only thing left, after the initial shock and overwhelming sadness of his classmates and teachers, is guesswork. Everyone has their theories; no one has any definite conclusion. It is sad that suicides seem a regular occurrence in NTU. Death has never been easily dealt with, either by Westerners or Easterners, but a death occasioned by suicide is an especially uncomfortable issue. Many people do not wish to talk about it, treating the subject as a taboo. However, no one seems to notice that all the hush hush only activates the underground grapevine faster, promoting all sorts of bizarre motives and theories. Besides, confession is good for the soul, and talk may have relieved many of the shadows of sorrows and guilt buried in the student friends? and classmates? hearts. There is the possibility that a suicide can be the result of a physical disease. Both the Building and Planning student and the accounting grad student who jumped off the management building two years ago were reported to have been mentally unstable to the extent that it threatened their graduation plans. In cases such as these, support from instructors and fellow classmates may not even be enough; it would be a good idea for the suicidal student to consult a psychiatrist and/or even reconsider the value of pursuing further studies at this stage. The psychology department in NTU provides consultants for students who are afraid of formal medical treatment and prefer anonymity, but a formal medical diagnosis and treatment is still the best policy. Most girls seem to prefer to take the quick and quiet route. Whereas girls either jump off buildings or take sleeping pills, boys seem to go for more tragic measures. The Building and Planning student who chose the conventional way of using a gas pipe emission, balanced the drama by recording the whole process down with a V8 standing nearby. But this was nothing compared to a Civil Engineering senior student, who chose to burn himself to death. “He had left a note explaining the reason of his decision,” Mrs.Chou Chia-Pei (? ? ?) the advisor of the student said. “It was mainly because he felt alone among his classmates, and he was a person who valued friendship very much.” Mrs.Chou also commented that this alienation is very typical among NTU students. Because NTU students are usually elite when it comes to schoolwork, they are used to receiving special attention and privileges. But come to NTU, and they find that they suddenly are not that special anymore. Some people deal with this fact better than others, but there is always that small percentage of students who cannot get over the feeling of bewilderment. Also, the fact that the Civil Engineering student had been preparing for graduate school exams may have also accelerated this feeling of detachment and lack of concern from his fellow classmates. His death was a big symbolic exclamation mark, indicating his end like the flourish of a performer leaving the stage. The DFLL also has its share of suicides. Just a few years ago, a sophomore jumped off a building, her body unrecognizable after the jump, making a sensation in the news. Mr. Peterson, who taught the student when she was a freshman, commented that “her unhappiness wasn’t easily detected.” Although Mr. Peterson wasn? the personal instructor of this student, he said he was still shocked when he heard the news. Karen Chung, who has been special advisor for many special admission students in DFLL, says that the most talented students often do not deal with mental pressures as well as the average student. “Most teachers, when they hear that a student they have once taught has committed suicide, immediately feel self reproach. ‘Was there anything they could have done to prevent it?’ This is the first question that comes to mind ,” Ms. Chung said meditatively. “However, in order for the teacher to be able to help, the person has to want to receive help in the first place. There is also the fact that the final decision is really made by the person who committed suicide, not the teacher.” It has been said that suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. But it is also worth realizing that suicide is a decision, a not very acceptable decision in the eyes of many people, but a decision nevertheless. On this note, instead of criticizing, we should try to understand that this final decision had been considered and reached before being performed, and we can only pray that all the people who have committed suicide have finally found peace. We should also try to comprehend that it is our choice whether we want to live and that we have the ability to be who we want to be. a
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May 2024
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