by Christine Chang
Think it might be time for the two of you to go your separate ways? Been wondering if your relationship is going to blossom or bomb? Or maybe you’re simply curious about the present state of you and your honey bear. Answer a few questions, and we’ll let you know if it’s time to say adios! 1. Do you feel like a top priority in his/her life? A/ Oh yeah — I’m #1, definitely. [10] B/ I believe I’m at the top of his list. [8] C/ I think I come between watering the plants and doing the laundry. [3] D/ Who cares? [1] 2. You’re out at dinner with a few other couples. Your partner tells a stupid joke and no one laughs. What would you think? A/ “But it’s such a cute joke!” [10] B/ “Poor thing!“ [10] C/ "How embarrassing!” [5] D/ “What a loser.” [2] 3. When you two go to a party together, what’s your interaction like? A/ We stick together and sneak kisses between conversations. [10] B/ We mainly stay together, but occasionally have independent conversations. [8] C/ We spend most of our time with friends, but periodically check in with each other. [6] D/ We immediately dash to opposite sides of the room. [3] 4. How often do you daydream about other guys/gals? A/ Never! [10] B/ Movie stars and models don’t count, right? [10] C/ Well, maybe once in a while. It’s not a crime, is it? [6] D/ Excuse me. What did you just ask? That cute guy/hottie has just drawn all my attention. [2] 5. In terms of your “intimate life,” how would you describe it? A/ A home-cooked meal—delicious and always satisfying! [10] B/ A Snickers bar—sweet, but can be better. [6] C/ A glass of expired milk—I don’t even want to talk about it! [2] D/ I can’t describe something I don’t have. But I’m sure it will be great. [8] 6. Can you imagine having children with this man/woman? A/ Absolutely — already have their names picked out! [10] B/ I haven’t thought about that, but sure, why not? [10] C/ Uh, not really. [4] D/ Gross! [1] 7. When you’ve got a case of the blues, would you turn to him/her? A/ Without a doubt. Being with my love always makes everything a little brighter. [10] B/ Most of the time. But sometimes my friends can provide me with even better help. [8] C/ Not if he/she asks. I’d rather solve my own emotional problem without him/her around. [4] D/ Speaking of the reason for my blues, he/she is exactly the answer! [1] 8. How much do your friends know about your relationship? A/ They know how comfortable and stable it is and all the gifts my sweetheart gives me. [10] B/ They know about the small issues that even the healthiest relationships endure. [8] C/ They know about all of my partner’s annoying habits. [4] D/ They know nothing about it, and I’m not going to waste my time complaining anyway. [1] 9. How often do you two compliment each other? A/ All the time. We can’t help it! [10] B/ Occasionally. Does it matter? We praise each other at heart. [8] C/ Hardly ever. I’m afraid we’re starting to take each other for granted. [4] D/ Only to appease each other or do it sarcastically. [1] 10. For your partner’s birthday, what would you do? A/ I’d hold a big party, invite all his/her friends, and get anything he/she wants. [10] B/ I’d plan something intimate for the two of us. [10] C/ I’d just go along with whatever his/her friends plan. [4] D/ Well, first, let me just find out when his/her birthday is. [1] Now let’s get your scores. Add up all the numbers from each answer you chose. If you get 85-100, then you are type A; if 65-84, type B; if 45-64, type C, and if 15-44, type D. Please allow me to remind you one thing before you jump to any conclusion: There are no meant-to-succeed or meant-to-fail relationships. Whatever the result is, it is you and your sweetheart who can truly understand what’s worthy, and it’s you two who have the sole privilege to judge the relationship you’re sharing. So remember, take it easy!! Type A—(85-100) Do other people say your relationship makes them feel sick? Ignore them — they’re not trying to drop a hint, they’re just jealous. And don’t blame them — it looks like your relationship is perfect. So why are you wasting your time taking this test, anyway? You should be with your sweetheart, taking advantage of the passion that’s still in full-force. On a more serious note, the respect and admiration the two of you have for each other makes your relationship a rare find. Not only do you feel a strong romantic connection, but you’re also extremely close friends — a truly wonderful combination. Your couplehood is pretty much as good as it gets, most people would break a federal law or two to be as happy and content as you seem to be, and that’s nothing to sneeze at! (Just wipe that smug smile off your face, okay?) But before you run your victory lap, remember that even the best relationships need work to stay in peak condition. Both you and your partner need to be committed to putting serious time and energy into making your union work. Now go and enjoy the love you’ve found! Type B—(65-84) Good news — it looks like your relationship is on solid ground and you’re pretty darn happy with it. Sure, you might want to change a couple of things — for example, why can’t he/she remember your anniversary just once?! You’ve probably just moved beyond the “honeymoon” phase and into reality. Most of the time, the nervous, excited “heart-beating-faster” feeling matures into a deeper, more stable connection. And that’s okay — really! It’s normal to have doubts about how you and your honey are doing, but it’s the big picture that counts. And your answers say that, overall, you two are on the road to happiness. Try to spend a little extra time nurturing your relationship and focusing on the intense friendship and romance you’ve developed. Make sure you settle conflicts before they get out of hand. If you’re still concerned, take this test again after a month. But chances are you’ll adjust nicely and enjoy yourself immensely! Your odds of making it are better than most, so give yourself a big pat on the back and go give your honey a hug. Type C—(45-64) Uh-oh — looks like you’re swimming in some rocky relationship waters. Whether it’s because the two of you have difficulty communicating or because you don’t quite see eye to eye on your goals and long-term plans, it’s pretty obvious that you’re not entirely satisfied with the dynamic between you and your partner. To figure it out, start by doing some serious thinking. Is there enough good left in your relationship that it’s worth working really hard to salvage it? Is your partner the only guilty party, or do you have areas to work on, too? If you’re committed to trying to make things better, consider breaking out the self-help books or giving couples’ counseling a try. If not, it might be time to find yourself someone who’ll make your heart beat faster! Don’t make any hasty decisions, though — your answers tell us that all is not lost. If the two of you are truly committed to working out your problems, there’s definitely a chance you can save your relationship. Good luck! Type D—(15-44) No matter what season the calendar says it is, you need to do some spring cleaning, honey! Nobody likes to say that, but it looks like you’re a pretty unhappy camper when it comes to your relationship. It’s obvious that your relationship has gone stale, and you’ve already milked it for all it’s worth. The “honeymoon” phase is long gone and has left the two of you with nothing in common, so it’s really high time you stopped swimming upstream. Of course, since you picked the answers you did, there’s a good chance at least some part of you already knew that. Okay, fine, but now what? Good question. Step up to the plate and rid yourself of this guy/gal — s/he’s become nothing more than a burden. If you decide that it’s time to move on — maybe your self-esteem just plummets around him/her, for example, or perhaps things have deteriorated to the point where you can’t be around each other without fighting — take this advice and make a clean break. It’ll be hard, but it’s better than spending more time beating yourself (or him/her!) up over a relationship that’s going nowhere. The relief you’ll feel when you’re finally free will more than compensate for the sadness. Hesitating? Remember — you’ll never find “Mr. /Ms. Right” if you stay with “Mr. /Ms. Wrong”! a
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May 2024
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