“It’s not because you lose a game that you are a loser.” By Loes Reynaert Being a winner or a loser, it’s a world of difference. Sometimes, the line between them is wafer-thin, sometimes it isn’t that close. Some people have experienced both positions, others mainly have experience with only one of them. What can this fixed position do with your motivation? I spoke with a German surfer and a Spanish tennis player, who find themselves on rather different sides of the winner-loser scale, about the way they experience motivation. Paul, 23 years old, is a German surfer boy who travels around the world to participate in competitions. For one and a half years, he won every contest he took part in. “I felt unreachable. I succeeded in everything I tried.” After this exceptional series of wins, however, something changed. “I can’t explain exactly what it was or how it felt, but all of the sudden there was a click in my head.” Paul wasn’t aware of the shift at first. He thought it was a temporarily lack of motivation that wouldn’t have big consequences. Only this turned out to be different. “I wasn’t nervous anymore on game day. I even started to be nonchalant during both my training sessions and the contests.”
For weeks, Paul lost his self-discipline and preferred to do other things than being on his surfboard or in the gym. “One day I paid the price for my overconfident behavior.” Still affected, Paul tells the story of the day everything went wrong. “I was on my surf board, but for the first time in years I didn’t feel united with it anymore. The waves transformed from toys to unconquerable obstructions.” Four contests in a row, he didn’t even end up in the top 7. Paul decided to take a break to clear his head. “Surfing didn’t give me joy and satisfaction anymore. It used to be my outlet that helped me escape from reality for a moment. At that time, surfing itself had become the thing I wanted to escape from.” The pause helped him to find his passion and motivation again for his favorite activity. Nowadays, he is again the winner he used to be. “I enjoy my wins more as I realized it isn’t self-evident. I got to learn the balance between training and having a break. I’m more motivated than ever, I won’t go through that hell a second time.” Inés (21) used to be a winner. In her youth she defeated all her opponents. But since she now plays on the highest level, she barely wins a set. What keeps her going? How can she keep motivating herself when she loses match after match? “I just love the game. Of course sometimes it is hard and very frustrating, but playing tennis in competition just gives me so much satisfaction.” Inés, hence, is a great example of someone who has known both the winner and the loser side. “Both positions have their advantages and disadvantages. As a sports person, you obviously want to win everything you participate in. But once you do, it isn’t as easy as it looks.” “A winner has to handle the pressure of being the favorite. If you don’t win the tournament, you failed. Nowadays, I begin every game as the underdog. Every gained point now gives me as much pleasure as a victory in my youth gave me.” The transition from a winner to the eternal underdog, however, wasn’t an easy period. “I wasn’t used to losing a game and suddenly I couldn’t even win a single set. During that period I was tempted several times to stop being active on that level, but my perseverance and stubbornness won over my dignity. Now I am as delighted as a child when I win a match. So about twice a year I am the happiest person in this world.” Inés realized after a while that losing is not equal to losing your dignity. “It’s not because you are losing a game that you are a loser. I may not win a lot of matches, I gain other –more satisfying- things. Every game, I win the respect of other people because of my persistence. Every game, I have fun. Every game, I am more convinced that playing tennis is just the thing I want to do.” She, in addition, shares the game more with the people that surround her. “When I was winning every tournament, I was only focused on tennis and winning more, not on the people I loved.” Paul and Inés find themselves in rather opposite situations. Nevertheless, they carry out a similar message. They both make clear that a win makes you twice as happy once you experienced the opposite side as well. They are also convinced that you have to be busy with your passion, but not at the expense of your own pleasure or of the people that are important to you. Dear sportsmen and women, dear people in general, what do we have to keep in mind? First of all, losing is not a shame. There can only be one winner. Secondly, don’t exaggerate what you do. Measure is often the key to success. But above all: do what you love and keep doing it as long as it gives you joy and satisfaction. a
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May 2024
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