By Kaiya BrownWelcome to Facebook! Before we begin, we’re going to need a bit of information about you, like your name, your birthday, phone number, email, et cetera. Don’t worry if you don’t want to give us that information immediately, we’ll bug you for it in the near future under the guise of security, privacy, and a better experience. Now, after you login for the first time, we urge you to complete your Facebook profile. See how soon the near future is? Afterwards, we will recommend some friends that we somehow know you know but you won’t question it, suddenly beginning your journey on Facebook.
After using Facebook for a while, you might start to have questions about some of the features we offer. Ever since you started applying for school and looking for that new job, you’ve been concerned about privacy. Who can see your information? Of course we can but who else? Well, remember that one party that you told your friends not to take pictures of because you were extremely wasted? Well, with Facebook’s automatic tagging feature, we can pick you out of a crowd of equally drunk people, better than the police can pick out a murderer, and we’ll send you a notification when you get tagged and we’ll put it on your page. What? You don’t want the picture to be on your page? Don’t worry, you can take it off your page…but there’s no guarantee that it won’t show up elsewhere. So you may have noticed that ever since you started using Facebook, every ounce of free time you have is being sucked away by our precious website but never fear! You weren’t doing anything productive anyway. At least through our website you’re being social…with a select group of people that we picked out based off of the people you added and your news feed history. In fact, we control your whole Facebook experience through what you like on your newsfeed. Remember that one time you were coerced into liking your aunt’s Facebook post because she wouldn’t leave you alone until you liked her Minion memes? Well, now your news feed will include similarly annoying posts. Accidently clicked a video? I hope no one else sees your news feed in the future. Everything you see, from friends’ posts to advertisements, is tailored by what you like on your newsfeed. You loved that! At least that was until you realized that what you see and what your friends see is completely different. Even the news that you see could have different information. So you decided that you wanted to delete your Facebook account? That’s a shame. Well, what about all your accounts that you used Facebook to sign up with? Remember how easy it was to give us access to your whole life? Every website you signed up for, every account that you connected with us…Are you willing to just lose access to all those accounts? Oh, so all your friends now use Instagram? Ha! The joke’s on you! We own Instagram! Yes, and Whatsapp…No, not Twitter but the point is we are integral part of your life. Even if you leave Facebook, there are other apps that will fill in that place. Besides, your account is never truly deleted. So welcome to Facebook, we basically own you. a
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The Taida Student Journal has been active since 1995 with an ever-changing roster of student journalists at NTU. Click the above link to read about the authors Archives
May 2024
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